finding consistency.

so it's saturday morning, and i'm in the beginning of a two week work trip back in arizona. i've got about 3 or 4 weeks worth of work jammed into 12 days, and here on day #4, i'm already exhausted. thank God it's saturday, and i was able to sleep in a little.

i'm thinking about what to do with the alone time i've got this morning. i've already made plans to see friends later in the day and on sunday. and i'm thinking that since my flip flop broke yesterday, i may just go to target and spend the morning wandering the store.

that may sound crazy to some of you, but wandering target is something i do when i need to get out, but i kinda want to be alone. i think i started doing it in college, or when steve and i were first married, and he was out working in the evenings as a pastor. and i don't know why, exactly, but it soothes my soul to do this.

when we moved to arizona, i was really thankful that the closest target was only 1.7 miles away. i would go and walk the aisles,  looking to see what new clothes were out, or what the throw pillows looked like in the home section. and i do it again in baltimore. and this morning, i'm thinking about doing it again.

i don't know why i find it so comforting to walk around and browse. i don't usually buy anything. i just look and take my time, and i don't have to talk to anyone, and i don't have to do anything. i can just look, and enjoy. and maybe it's very suburban of me to seek out the target wherever i go, and make it my quiet alone place. but there really is something about consistency that is comforting, whether you're in new york, arizona, maryland, or on a work trip and need to breathe a little.

yesterday, steve was planning to hang out with the guys while i'm away. he bought some poker chips, etc, for the evening, and they ended up not using them. on the phone he tells me, "well, i'll just return them, because we probably won't use them. actually, i'll just leave them in the car, and let you return them when you get back."

"oh, thanks, babe, for letting me return them for you." i said in response, teasing him and alluding to the fact that his comment may have sounded like something out of madmen's 60s dialogue.

"well, it'll give you an excuse to go to target." and we both laughed. checkmate. the man knows me too well.