how's it going? oh not much going on here, just, you know, wrapping up work and trying to get things together for the baby. pretty tired since i haven't been sleeping well, but i hear that's typical.
listen, i wanted to talk to you about something ... first off, you've really done a terrific job for us. you've been holding in an ever-growing person, and that is really something to be proud of. i know that maybe you've heard of other cervixes being labelled "incompetent," but dude, you've more than proved how competent you are. you're a grade-A cervix. class act. the go-to-guy on the team. cervix of the year.
i say all this to let you know that i've been so thrilled with your work thus far, but that you don't need to continue to perform at the same level you've been performing the past 36 weeks. honestly, if you keep it up, you might kill us both. and while i'm super happy with the job you've done, half of doing a great job is knowing when to finish. you know, when to call it quits. put a bow on it and send it on its way. maybe you've just been working so hard for so long that you can't imagine your life any differently. i get it. change is hard ... especially when you get a great opportunity to shine. no one wants to walk away from a project they're seeing a lot of success with. i get that. but sometimes when we over-stay our welcome, that success can quickly turn sour.
cervix, you've done a great job and i'm super grateful. but it's time to step aside and let the other stars shine. please think about what i've said.